We’ve all heard of families that have been torn apart because of an estate issue. No one wants a family rift, yet many estate plans (or a lack of an estate plan) lead to exactly that. Whether it’s unequal distributions, outdated wills, or unspoken expectations, regret often stems not from the choices themselves, but from the lack of clarity around them.
In this post, we’ll cover how to align your estate planning with your values, communicate clearly, and avoid the common missteps that lead to heartbreak or resentment.
Keep Documents Current, Aligned, and Legal
A Will is your first step in safeguarding your estate plan. It is the most common document/strategy used for distributing your assets how you want. It allows you to be intentional with what you want your family to remember, protect, or continue.
An outdated will can create chaos. For example, are your children grown and your will still states who will be the guardians? You may have left your Will open to being contested. We recommend that you and your advisor review your Will, insurance policies, and account beneficiaries every year, or after major life events of yourself, your heirs, and your named executor(s). If changes to your Will are required, go through your lawyer to ensure that your wishes are recorded in a manner that concisely and legally articulate your wishes.
You might be asking why you would loop your advisor on your Will. Assets that are joint with right of survivorship or have a named beneficiary do not form part of the estate. This means they aren’t governed by your Will, regardless if the Will or the beneficiary designation were completed last. You want to ensure that strategies aren’t used that will run counter to wishes or create an unintentional inequity.
Don’t build strategies strictly to avoid or reduce probate
Probate. Spoken about like a dirty rival team. Some may even spit on the ground after saying the word. Depending on your province, it can be quite costly, however, avoiding it should never be the sole or even main reason to implement a strategy. The most used ways people try to avoid it are by naming beneficiaries and making accounts joint. But does this make sense?
Having enough liquidity in your estate is essential. Often you will read or hear that everything should have a beneficiary without thought behind what your estate costs are going to be. If you name a beneficiary for all of your life insurance policies, registered funds, and even your non-registered money you put into segregated funds so you could name a beneficiaries. All that money flows to your heirs when you die. But what doesn’t flow to the heirs? The tax consequence. When you die, CRA deems that you sold everything at fair market value the day before you died. There are exceptions to this, such as spousal rollovers and qualified property, but we will ignore those options for this explanation. Your registered funds are considered to be sold and withdrawn the day before you die, meaning they are taxable income to you. Your non-registered funds had capital gains, these gains will be taxable income to you. Your CPP, OAS, pension income is all income for you. Unlike when you withdraw from your registered funds while alive, investment companies are not mandated, and do not, withhold any tax. The entire balance flows to the beneficiaries. Your estate doesn’t have any liquidity to pay the taxes. PERFECT you think! CRA doesn’t get any of it, I’m dead I don’t care if I’m bankrupt! CRA is the only creditor that has the ability to go after beneficiaries and demand the money. Not proportionately either. They will go after each beneficiary joint and severally. This can again unintentionally cause inequality.
Another common question is whether you should add your children on the house or bank accounts when you are the surviving spouse. This will avoid probate and bypass the estate they believe. This is not always the case. Courts have seen this as a constructive or resulting trust and it falls to the estate anyway, causing legal fees and often hard feelings as it moves through the courts. The other concern is for you while you are still alive! You have handed over some ownership. If that child goes through a divorce or a situation where there are creditors involved, part of your home is their asset. Sometimes, paying the piper is worth it to ensure you are protected while alive and your assets shake out how you want them to.
Your advisor can create an estate plan with you to estimate what you will owe for final costs. They can also map out your beneficiary designation and Will distributions, accounting for tax implications, so you can clearly vision if you meant to split your assets as you are. This is very helpful to clients with certain assets like a cottage, or a business/farm that understand equal isn’t fair, but may not realize their fair isn’t quite what they pictured.
Don’t Let ‘Equal’ Become the Enemy of ‘Fair’
Treating each child the same might feel like the safest route, but it isn’t always the most thoughtful. One may have received more help during your lifetime, or taken on more caregiving responsibilities. The key is to be intentional—and to communicate why. Communicating why will help protect your wishes, some provinces have more liberal approaches to Wills being contested, but most importantly it will leave less misunderstanding after your death. Misunderstanding can often lead to family breakups. If you aren’t comfortable with speaking your ‘why’ while you are alive, consider writing a short letter explaining the ‘why’ behind key decisions.
Talk Early. Talk Often.
Silence breeds assumptions. You don’t need to reveal every number, but giving your loved ones a high-level view of your intentions can ease stress and reduce surprises. That child that has helped you on the farm may be expecting their sweat equity to be paid off, or the still married child may feel that the sibling that went through a nasty divorce and needed significant help while the parent was alive “used” their inheritance already. We all see life through a different lens and therefore open communication allows everyone to be heard and understood (even if not agreed with).
💬 Suggested phrase: “I’ve made some decisions I think are best for everyone, and I want you to understand them—whether or not we agree.”
Use the Right Tools for the Right Goals
Sometimes a will isn’t enough. You may need a certain type of trust, joint ownership, or direct gifting strategies. Blended families often have unique circumstances that need special strategies. Each tool has different tax and control implications. Your advisor should be able to help you navigate options and work with your accountant and lawyer to develop a full plan.
Estate planning isn’t about death—it’s about life. It’s one last way to protect, support, and love your family. With the right plan, you can leave not just money, but peace.
🗓️ Did this article raise some questions for you? Click Here to schedule a 15-minute clarity call, or phone 825-659-3003.

Karen Shaw is a Registered Representative with Designed Securities Ltd., operating under the trade name Birch Bay Wealth Management.